Have you ever used 3-D glasses? Once you put them on you suddenly see the screen or movie in a different way. With your ‘regular’ eyes, the screen looks flat and fuzzy. Putting on the 3-D glasses transforms the image into a different experience.
Although I’m not a fan of the 3-D experience, I continue finding myself fascinated at the difference it makes in your visual experience. It’s like “Wow!”
Being a counselor, I am often told secrets. Knowing those secrets changes how you see things. One of the areas I learned a great deal about affairs is by watching cheaters in action while they cover their activities. They were unaware that I knew about their cheating, so they acted like nothing was going on.
It amazed me how the cheater went to extremes showing what a ‘good person’ they were. They talked about involvement in the PTA and attending church. They expressed concern about their child’s recent misbehaving, yet made no connection with their secretive acts.
Not a word was mentioned about the affair and their secretive hook-ups. Instead I was given the ‘respectable’ version of their life. The cheater showed me how family-oriented they were as they tended to their parents along with fake concern about family matters. They were waiting hand and foot on their mom, while their heart was with their lover.
When it came to their misbehaving child, they wanted to blame it anyone and anything but the affair. It was easier to medicate the problem than to deal with it. Kids know when things aren’t right and they have ways of letting you know that they know.
Like the 3-D glasses, the difference in what I saw as astounding. One version was what they were portraying to the unknowing world, the other was one where a cheater was maneuvering, wiggling and going to the opposite extremes in covering their actions.
When news of the affair finally broke, those closest (and most in the dark), went into what I call ‘The Affair Crisis‘. They were so stunned by the news that they didn’t want to believe it. “How could such a good person have an affair?” They wanted to believe the image that the cheater had crafted over the years rather than face the reality of what actually happened.
If you’re facing such a situation, there’s hope. The video, ‘Getting You Past the Affair Crisis’ will help you face what really happened and start you moving toward your recovery. Even if you want to keep your 3-D glasses on for a while, eventually you’ll have to face what is going on.
Best Regards,
Jeff
