Although you are in real life, there are times when dealing with affairs, that you feel like you are stuck in ‘instant replay’ mode. The same fights, the same words, the same patterns seem to keep going. If you have had an ‘instant replay’ moment, you are not going crazy. These events often occur when dealing with affairs.
You and the cheater are so used to the roles you are in, that it is hard to change. When this happens, you need to do something different. Be willing to risk more or do something different. When you keep getting the same old results, it is likely that you keep doing the same old thing. If you want different results or a different outcome, you will need to change either what you are doing or how you are doing it. Even making small changes often produce different results. You will have to risk being real and being honest in order to make such changes.
To recap how to get out of ‘instant replay’ mode:
1. Recognize when you are stuck in the instant replay loop.
2. Change something about what you are doing.
3. If the first change does not work, try making another change.
Some of the things to change include:
-Change your attitude
-Change your expectations
-Change the wording of what you said
-Change your reaction to what the cheater said.
-Rather than rush in to speak, let things sink in.
-Try to understand rather than react.
Best Regards,
Jeffrey Murrah
One Response
Do you offer telephone counseling? I read your emails and they are extremely helpful to me. But i would like to have a one on one conversation with you regarding my situation.