On a recent visit to the Texas Medical Center in Houston, I encountered several object lessons about healing. Just about everyone who receives services at the medical center is looking for healing of one type or another.
This same medical center is where history has been made regarding medical breakthroughs in proceedures and techniques. The facilities are filled with portraits and statues to pioneer great physicians and heart surgeons.
Many situations that seemed beyond hope have turned around there. There are lessons to be learned about healing from what happens here. In some cultures, offerings are given as a response to healing,
Here, donations are made and buildings are named after those who present modern offerings for the miraculous healing that happens here.
As I was there, I considered what I can learn from being here and observing what happens here.
The first simple lesson concerned what ‘healing’ is. What is meant by ‘healing’ has a wide definition.
For some receiving services, healing is about keeping them from death. For others, healing is about making their situation more livable.
In making a situation more livable, they find a better way of living with their condition or wound. In their minds, making what they thought was hopeless and impossible something that they can live with is an improvement.
For some, healing is about being able to live with a tolerable amount of pain. They aren’t looking to be pain-free, but instead, pain-livable.
When it comes to healing from the affair, you’ll face the question of what that means to you and your spouse. If each of you are wanting something different, neither of you will be happy.
Healing from an affair, like healing your health also has a wide definition. For some, healing means ending the affair, for others, it means fully restoring the joy of your marriage for still others, healing means creating a relationship that the both of you can live with.
Your marriage may not be perfect, but it can be livable and workable.
Finding ways of living with each other and making your relationship work in no way means that there was no healing from the affair. You and your spouse have to consider how much effort each of you are willing to invest in your marriage and yourselves for healing.
Even though investing in your marriage always pays dividends, one of you may not have the energy or the ability to invest any more. You may value freedom and privacy more than your marriage. You may even value your financials or time more than your marriage.
Another lesson I learned about healing is that it requires effort from the patient as well. The patient must want the healing and reach out for it. The expertise of the medical center is there, yet the patient is expected to come for healing rather than hope the healing comes to them.
Healing for some also means that you may be living with a limp for a while as well. The affair changed you and your spouse. The damage may be so extreme, the two of you have to live with some of the hurts.
In the video series of the Affair Recovery Workshop, I guide you through the stages of affair recovery along with what is needed at each stage. Putting off getting help only makes things worse.
When your marriage needs healing, the sooner action is taken, the greater your chances of recovery with much of your marriage intact. Order your copy and start the healing today.
Keeping It Real,
Jeff
