How does one deal with stalkers?
Stalkers are not often amenable to logic of discussing things rationally. Since they are often driven by emotions, the use of rational thinking with them is of limited use. You may feel better by trying to talk rationally with them, but it will do little to change their behaviors. In dealing with such people, you will need to stop the nice guy/nice girl approach.
1. Set firm limits. You need boundaries that are firm and clear. This is important for you and to send a message to the stalker. Know what you will and will not tolerate.
2. Be willing to call the police or other agency in maintaining your boundaries.
3. Limit your contact and communication with them. When you do communicate, limit it to one word ‘yes’ or ‘no’ responses. They will often attempt to engage you in interactions. Resist the temptation to explain yourself or elaborate on your communications.
4. It is better to be safe than sorry. With this in mind, use precautions when you travel. Debug your computer and phones. If necessary, do not travel alone or venture into high risk situations.
5. Find friend who you can talk to about what is happening. At times you may feel trapped if you do not use your friends and relationships to cope with what is occurring. Stalkers often want their victim to feel isolated and alone. It is important to stay engaged in relationships with your support system.
6. Let go of the idea that you ‘need’ to talk with them.
7. Be firm in saying ‘no’. No needs to mean no.
These are some simple guidelines that will help you deal with stalkers.
Best Regards,
Jeffrey D. Murrah
