In justifying an affair, the infidel is likely to come up with some wild rationalizations for what happened. Among some of the rationalizations I have heard are the excuses that deal with comparing Western civilization with the Japanese culture. Although some parts of Japanese culture makes room for relationships outside of marriage, the mindset or thinking behind it is very different that the mindset in Western civilization. Those relationships occur when they do not pose a threat to the marriage. In Western civilization, it is rare that the affair does not damage the marriage relationship.
If such comparisons are used, they are likely just another rationalization. The cultural comparison is used to ease the guilt. Such comparisons are often used to make it sound acceptable and appear acceptable. The bottom line is that if your spouse objects to an extra-marital relationship, it is not acceptable. Trying to justify one’s behavior by using cultural comparisons that are not applicable is just another way of making excuses.
In evaluating ones extra-marital behavior, if you feel guilty about it, it is probably something you should not be doing. If you have to hid it, you should not be doing it. If your spouse objects, it is something you probably should not be doing. Your marriage is the culture you need to be concerned with, not comparisons with cultures outside of your own. Comparing your marriage with other cultures falls under the adage that the grass always LOOKS greener on the other side of the fence. That other culture may look appealing, and enticing, but if it is not your culture, don’t use it to justify your own actions.
Best Regards,
Jeffrey Murrah
