“I can’t believe it!” is often the response when a spouse hears rumors that their partner is having an affair. It’s a moment of shock and disbelief.
When you hear rumors about an affair what can you do?
1. Find out the facts. This does not mean argue with your spouse about them. Does the evidence point to unfaithfulness?
There are people who spread rumors just to break couples up. Before you confront and threaten them, have some facts.
2. Does the affair fit a pattern? Has there been suspicions prior to hearing the rumor? Many times you’ll know in your gut about an affair before you have the facts or rumors.
If you suspected, and the rumor confirms what you suspected, it’s not something to dismiss.
3. Consider the source of the rumor. Many times rumors can be believed or dismissed solely on the source of the rumor. Are they reliable? Do they have an agenda? Are they doing it to help you?
The source of a rumor often gives you an indication of how believable they are. If the source is unreliable, their information is likely unreliable as well.
4. Has your spouse been more distant lately? If they have been pulling away either with their time or space, you may want to look into things deeper.
Some spouses draw closer to their spouses when having an affair in order to disguise it. If your spouse is either suddenly closer or suddenly more distant, both could be warning signs of something bigger going on.
5. Are there any addictive behaviors present? If alcohol, drugs or sexual addiction are involved, you may have bigger problems than an affair. The rumors need to be taken in context of such addictive behaviors.
Dealing with the initial shock is rattling. It shakes your world. The video, “Getting Past the Affair Crisis” helps you in dealing with the sudden shock. It guides you in making your way through those initial days of confusion, bewilderment and not being sure what to do or who to believe.
Best Regards,
Jeff
