There are times that I read a current event concerning affairs and say to myself “Duh, that’s common sense!” The information revealed by researchers is so filled with common sense I want to ask, “You spent thousands of dollars for that?”
Truth be told, common sense isn’t so common. Not only is common sense not so common, what used to be considered everyday wisdom is getting harder and harder to find. I realize that in today’s culture, many of the lessons known to previous generations are not being passed on.
One of those lessons regarding affairs is that most affairs happen with close friends. Previous generations knew this.
This was one of the arguments used in opposing wives going to work along with the reservations about women in men’s workplaces.
The previous generations knew something about the risk of close work associates having affairs. I recall the many lively conversations about women going to work with the men at the chemical plants in Pasadena, Texas.
At the time, there were fears expressed about how mixing the genders in the workplace would lead to affairs happening.
Those expressing the fears were regarded as backward, old-fashioned and unenlightened.
Surprise! Years later those fears were proven valid. Mixing genders in the workplace has led to more affairs.
Those generations may not have expressed the affair risk the way the current generation does. The difference in expression doesn’t make the truth less valid.
I was reminded of that on seeing the findings of a recent University of Colorado research on affairs. They found that a majority (53.5%) of affairs occur with someone they knew well (a ‘Duh! moment).
This is a study you need to take note of. Most affairs happen with someone they know well. Close friends can become lovers, whether at work, volunteering or at church.
Close friends that grow too close are a danger! If you’ve been caught up in a social media inspired affair, you know this first hand.
A second common sense finding is that those who most approve of affairs are the people who are skilled at affairs. In other words experienced cheaters are more likely to approve of affairs. This is another “Duh!” moment.
The more you understand about affairs and affair research, the more you’ll be able to put your situation in context. I discuss other current research and affairs in greater depth in the support community at Restored Lifestyle.
I encourage you to join the support community and gain the common sense knowledge you need during affair recovery.
Best Regards,
Jeff
