When I mention the word ‘parrot head’, what comes to mind? The name parrot head is associated with the musician Jimmy Buffett and his fans.
Have you ever considered what kind of footwear Jimmy Buffett uses? Most of you have not. If you have, it’s likely that you assumed he wars flip-flops. The island lifestyle is typically associated with wearing flip-flops.
Those assumptions can lead to erroneous conclusions. In the case of Jimmy Buffett some of his band made that assumption also. They were wrong about their fearless leader.
When Jimmy Buffett met the Boot Whisperer, he band members were stunned. On seeing him standing in stocking feet, she found him boots that fit him perfectly.
She sold him not one, but two pairs of cowboy boots. At this moment all the assumptions about Jimmy being a flip-flop only guy went away.
Who’d of guessed that Jimmy Buffett would wear cowboy boots?
In a similar way, you may be making assumptions about your spouse and their motives. You may be assuming you know what they think or what their motives are.
Until you talk with them about those matters, you are assuming.
You may think you know them, just like Jimmy Buffett’s band thought they knew him and his choice in footwear. Those assumptions will take you and them in directions you hadn’t planned.
During affair recovery, you need clear communication more than other times. Although that’s what’s needed, that’s not what typically happens.
Rather than taking your marriage in a direction dictated by assumptions, your best move will be in improving communication. I address communication in the video “We Need to Talk: Hurting People Healing Questions”. You’ll discover a unique sequence of what to bring up, when to bring it up and how to bring it up.
When you join the support community at Restored Lifestyle, you’ll have free access to this video and others along with being able to share with others going through affair recovery.
You no longer have to rely on assumptions, you can instead make your decisions based on facts.
Best Regards,
Jeff
