The timing of an affair often tells you a great deal about what is going on and the ‘true’ motives for cheating.
Take for example, you and your spouse may have been sacrificing and saving for your children’s college education. As the time grew closer for them to enter college, you were hit by the shocking news of an affair.
The shock of the affair suddenly changes your priorities, your family and your marriage. What was once a jointly agreed path through life has now become a confusing path through a tangle of emotions.
In such cases, the timing is not ‘accidental’. The timing of the affair was more about sabotage. At times the sabotage is consciously intentional, at others it is more unconscious.
Like the government playing the news cycles, the events and when they occur are planned out. Officials choose when particular stories run and break.
Whether conscious or unconscious, the payoff is the same. The affair distracts the family from either pain or the discomfort of dealing with some other issue. In your own life, you may want to consider the timing of the affair. Where any other issues going on?
Was there an event on the horizon? Was there an illness or major life change in the family? When there are such connections, you can begin understanding the events surrounding the affair in a new light.
It may not have been about sex, or finding you unattractive at all. It could have been about something you never imagined. Until those issues are addressed, assuming it is about sex, lack of attraction or other issues will have you chasing your own tail and making erroneous conclusions.
And you know what? This can happen to any one of us or our families. My family wasn’t immune to this happening. And neither are you. But you can try to prevent infidelity from happening. Strengthening your marriage goes a long way to reducing the risk.
The ‘30 Days to a Better Marriage‘ program is one way of reducing the risk
Best Regards,
Jeff
