Although you may not have considered the connection between being a celebrity and affairs being a factor in your marriage, it very well may be. The cheater may consider themselves like a movie star or even a ‘porn star’ and be seeking what they consider the fulfillment they consider which goes with that status. Cheaters are known for not thinking in the ‘here and now’. If they fully considered who they are and who they are married to they would not have done what they did. They may give lip service to who they are and who they are married to, yet there may be a part of them that views themselves as ‘special’ or a ‘closet celebrity’. When they are in that celebrity mode, they are special and the constraints of marriage and present identity do not apply to them. They may even start talking about ‘potential’ and who they are becoming. Such talk is popular in some circles today, yet when that kind of thinking is applied to cheaters, they begin seeing the potential of sexual adventures, rather than fulfilling the commitment to their spouses. The ‘potential’ them has what amounts to a celebrity or star status. Being a ‘star’ they do not believe that they have to function within the restraints of marriage, reality, or morals. They are ‘transcendent’ and beyond that. What this amounts to is that mixing cheaters and ‘potential’ thinking is a dangerous combination. If they have a solid foundation and commitment to marriage, the risk is low, yet when they are thinking more in the potential mindset than real life, the risk of affair danger is high.
As part of realizing their new potential, cheaters often try out that new potential with lovers. When they attain such sexual achievements, their thinking is reinforced, making it harder for them to come down from their elevated status and deal with you in real life.
You need to be aware of the danger of such celebrity and potential thinking when your spouse has tendencies to stray.
Best Regards,
Jeffrey Murrah
