When you are in emotional upheaval, you do not see yourself or the events around you in a clear light. When desires for revenge, hurt and angst fill your heart, the last thing you need to be doing is making life-changing decisions. For this reason, it is best to put off your decisions about divorce, whether or not you stay in the marriage or whether or not to move until matters have become clear. Many lives have been shipwrecked in the storms of infidelity. Common sense tells you to steer your ship away from the storm and rocks before you set a new course. Surviving the storm is the priority rather than staying on some course you had already set. A good seamen will tell you that you need to make it through the storm, then set your course.
When in the midst of dealing with the affair, many items will jump out at you as ‘urgent’ and needing your immediate attention and action, when in reality, they can be put off. The important things are often delayed even though they need your attention. Things like maintaining your health and hygiene and fixing your children’s lunch are more important than those other matters, yet these are the one’s that are often overlooked.
Your first priority needs to be taking care of yourself. If you are not in good shape, you are not ready to deal with the affair. The first chapter in my book on surviving your partners affair deals with this concept in more detail.
Best Regards,
Jeffrey Murrah
