One of my favorite movies is the Marx Brothers “Duck Soup”. It’s filled with memorable lines, puns and plays on words.
In one exchange, Rufus T. Firefly, the head of the country has some words with the Secretary of War.
Secretary of War: Sir, you try my patience.
Firefly: I don’t mind if I do. You must come over and try mine some time.
As you go through affair recovery, there will be things that try your patience. That’s a natural part of the struggle that comes with changes and facing unpleasant truths.
I was reminded of this when I received some wildly different reactions to one of my emails. One reader wrote, “You always always always blame the wronged spouse.” While another wrote, “ I have to say Jeff this is my situation exactly.”
Those mixed messages are confusing and perplexing to me. Hearing mixed messages is a sure way of trying your patience. Mixed messages make finding your way through recovery challenging.
On encountering those mixed messages, it helps considering what your end goal is. Reminding yourself of the goal of recovery makes it easier knowing which direction to take or message to listen to.
As odd as it sounds, there are times that both may be right. Each message is coming from people looking at your situation from different angles.
This is where looking at your situation from a variety of perspectives is helpful. You don’t have to listen to each one, yet ignoring what they tell you is dangerous.
Those different perspectives force you out of your comfort zone. That is where you start growing during recovery.
In the support community at Restored Lifestyle, you can find some other perspectives. Some you may agree with some you may not. During recovery, you’re not always going to hear things that make you feel good.
Keeping It Real,
Jeff
