Some spouses deny that their actions were improper. They dismiss it with, “I did nothing wrong” or “Nothing happened”. All that such statements are communicating is that they did not get laid. Such statements are often made to minimize what they did or to calm down the resolute spouse. When such statements are made, they often leave the resolute spouse feeling like they are going crazy. Since their emotions have been dismissed or ignored altogether.
When your eyes, ears and gut say that something happeded and then your spouse says “nothing happened” it is enough to make anyone feel crazy. In such situations, the spouse is attempting to make you doubt your own experiences. You know what you saw, felt or heard and now your spouse is saying that you were imagining it. This distortion of reality is enough to make anyone ‘feel’ like they are loosing it. When a spouse dismisses events, like this, it amounts to them sending a message that the spouse’s reality and feelings are not important. Only the adulterers reality is what matters. Their reality is the only reality.
It is important that if you find yourself in such a situation that you tell yourself the truth and that you believe your truth. Do not let an adulterer take your truth from you. Even in situations where you are jumping the gun or making assumptions, your emotions are still important. Your emotions are telling you that something is not right and needs to be addressed.
Best Regards,
Jeff Murrah
