I was taught the precept that all men are created equal from the Declaration of Independence. I’ve learned things change, including equality when you enter the world of infidelity. In the world of infidelity, not everyone is at equal risk for affairs, nor are all affairs equal in terms of the damage and pain.
Whether it’s fair or not, there are factors that put your marriage more at risk of an affair than your neighbor’s may be. This also means that you can’t compare your marriage to your neighbors.
The risks are different, the people are different and the factors leading to an affair are different. It’s not fair, but it’s the truth.
Take for instance if you or your spouse’s family has a history of affairs. This puts your marriage more at risk, as does substance abuse, sexual addiction or a history of significant childhood trauma.
If your marriage is dealt one or all of these cards, it changes your chances. The risk of an affair is not equal. You are in greater danger. There are other factors as well, although these are the biggest ones.
Your marriage may be one that has all those factors and still avoided an affair, or have no factors and end up with an affair. There’s also background issues associated with each affair as well.
All those factors mean that each affair is different. This is where the one size fits all answers don’t work.
It would be nice to blame all affairs on one issue or event. Although selfishness is a frequent offender, not even it accounts for all affairs.
Knowing the factors at work in your marriage is important in both dealing with the affair and preventing affair relapse. When one affair ends, the work begins on either allowing or preventing the next one.
This means action is needed in preventing affair from becoming habitual. You can change the course where your marriage is headed. Changing course involves recovering from the affair and reducing the risk of them coming back.
Stopping recovery before all the work is done leaves your marriage vulnerable to more relationship issues. In my training series, “Affair Recovery Workshop“, I address what you can do along with telling you how to do it, including family patterns and issues that put your marriage at risk.
Taking action now starts your marriage going in a different direction. Rather than keep doing the same song and dance over and over, change what you’re doing. Click and download the workshop today.
Keeping It Real,
Jeff
