The other day I mentioned the topic of misogyny. First, let me clarify what I meant by misogyny. Typically the term is used in referring to men who hate women. This is different from a misogamist, which is a hater of marriage.
Confusing misogyny from misogamy will cause you to make mistakes in fixing the wrong problem. There’s a huge difference between hating marriage and hating women. For today, let’s focus on the misogyny.
The part of misogyny I want to address is it’s connection with porn. Let me start by saying that looking at porn doesn’t make a man a misogynist. It’s definitely not healthy, yet it doesn’t make him a woman hater.
What researchers have found is that when men with misogynist tendencies view violent porn, they’re at a higher risk of physical or sexual violence.
Research also shows a greater tendency for those viewing it to engage in aggressive behavior. This makes sense to me in that once you start giving into powerful urges, it makes them harder to control.
One of the recent trends in porn is increased amount of violent porn where women are treated harshly in dehumanizing ways. One researcher, Gail Dines, claims that as much as 88% of the porn produced portrays violence toward women.
Researchers are also identifying how porn changes the brain. While viewing the porn, your mirror neurons are activated. These neurons allow you to feel or mirror feelings and emotions of what’s being viewed.
Although these neurons were only discovered in the 90’s, researchers are finding that they’re important in learning new behaviors. Those mirror neurons allow you to copy behavior you observe.
Your mirror neurons start putting your mind ‘in the action’ it’s viewing, whether it’s learning skiing or viewing violent porn. For the misogynist, viewing the violent images energizes them and validates their emotions.
They get a ‘high’ from watching and mentally rehearsing what they’ve seen.
What enables you to learn behaviors you view are these same mirror neurons. Those same mirror neurons are what makes violent porn a dangerous trigger for men with misogynist tendencies.
If your spouse is a misogynist or consumer of violent porn, there is a likelihood that you’ve been on the receiving end of their anger or aggression. Even though you may have attributed what happened to them having a bad day, it could have actually been the porn.
You don’t deserve to be hit, or abused. You may have made mistakes, but that doesn’t mean you deserve to be hit.
If you have been traumatized, either directly or indirectly, you can break free from the emotional prison it brings. In the video, “Overcoming Affair Trauma”, you can learn ways of freeing yourself from the chains of trauma that have been keeping you down.
Click and download your copy today. In minutes, you can be starting your journey to a healthier you.
Keeping It Real,
Jeff
