The irritability of the cheater is a frequent concern with betrayed spouses. It leaves you wondering what’s behind the irritability and anger.
Even when you make changes, they remain angry, leaving you puzzled. You begin questioning yourself as to whether you did something wrong or if they’re mad at you.
Let me start by saying they’re taking it out on you, but that’s not where the root problem lies. It’s where things are showing up, but it’s not the source.
I want to also add that this is a common concern. You may think that you’re one of the few couples this has happened to. You’d be mistaken.
It’s not very comfort knowing that you’re not alone in going through this. At the same time, it helps knowing that you’re not the only one that this has happened to.
The cheater isn’t happy with themselves. Whether or not they admit it, they’re also under emotional conviction for what they’ve done.
They may tell you they don’t feel guilty. Make no mistake, there’s guilt whether they admit it or not. They may have been denying and running from it longer than they realize.
They may not recognize guilt when they feel it. Some spouses are so ‘out of it’, they confuse guilt with irritability. They’re also confused about their own fears of vulnerability.
Anger is used in covering up a multitude of emotions and weaknesses. They find it easier lashing out instead of opening up.
All that anger is a signal that there’s much more going on with them.
They lied to you, violated the bounds of your marriage, and gave affections that rightly belong to you to someone else. So, even before you get to whether or not sex was involved, they’ve already racked up multiple violations of sacred bonds and violated your marriage relationship.
Facing their anger isn’t an easy task to carry out. Although it’s unpleasant, it’s not impossible.
There are times you may need extra help in facing those situations. You may also need direction and encouragement.
If you need extra help in dealing with your spouse, I’ve had some time slots open up in my schedule for a consultation or telephone counseling. If you’re interested, email me Jeff@RestoreTheFamily.com for times and rates.
Write today for the best times.
Keeping It Real,
Jeff
