Celebrities in contemporary society put twists on your marriage. One of the pop trends in contemporary society is referring to adultery as ‘entanglements‘.
This term has been popularized by Will Smith and his wife Jada Pinkett Smith. Although charming on the screen, the real life of these two is filled with betrayals and immodesty.
In calling affairs ‘entanglements’, any questions concerning loyalty and betrayal are tossed aside. The cheater is absolved of being disloyal to their vows and to you.
It turns sex into recreational activity and removes the moral outrage that comes with terms like adultery. At least with adultery, there’s a double-message of immorality and pollution at the same time.
Although I don’t like the term entanglement, it conveys one of the truths about affairs. That truth is that affairs involve bonding. When you cheat, you bond with someone else who isn’t your spouse.
Your emotions and soul get attached to people outside of your marriage. Your love and capacity are no longer purely toward your spouse. Your loyalties are now divided.
Entanglement as a term captures the attachment and bonding confusion that come with affairs. Your emotions and attachments both internal and external are messed up.
Even your neurons are tangled up as a result of the infidelity.
The term entanglement makes it sound like all that’s needed is de-tangling of the relationships. If only life was that simple.
Although you can de-tangle hoses, fishing lines and wires, those items aren’t the same after being tangled up. Likewise, you can de-tangle relationships, but they won’t be the same afterwards. They’re still twisted and distorted.
The entanglement changed them. Likewise, it changes your marriage. You can save your relationship, yet it won’t be like it was before.
The affair brought changes to their thinking, behavior and soul. Thinking that people can be connected and re-connected in new configurations like lego building blocks is a mistake.
Each attachment and detachment changes them and you.
This means that you need some new ways of doing your marriage and relationship. In the Affair Recovery Workshop, you’ll be guided through those changes. It changes how you talk to each other, what you expect of each other and how the two of you solve problems together.
The workshop addresses these areas and more. When you know what areas need tweaking in your relationship, you can save yourself mountains of grief and misery.
Knowing what to change and how to change it helps both you and your spouse through the recovery process.
Order your copy of the workshop today.
Keeping It Real,
Jeff
