When it comes to cheating and gifts things get weird very fast. This time of year, you can use of the weird things about cheaters to your advantage. Although I often put many of the ‘Top 10 weird things about cheaters‘ in the same file as ‘fake news’, there are a couple of oddities worth mentioning.
The first is that cheaters often shop a lot. In most cases, it’s for their lover, yet they also have to shop for ‘nice’ items to pacify their betrayed spouse. They may even be shopping for the perfect gift for you, making you feel like a ‘queen’ or ‘king’.
Buying things is often used to distract and also as a form of penance. They did something wrong, they feel a tinge of guilt which shopping helps alleviate. They also know that gifts often take your mind off of the affair.
This means that if you receive a lavish gift and feel like royalty, you better start looking for the jester. The lavish gifts may be a conscience trying to appease itself. The gifts also allow them to continue believing that they are being a good husband/wife. Since they are providing you with something good, it makes them good.
When the gift is extra lavish, they may view it as a way of balancing out the ledger. They did something really nice for you, so now they can do something really nice for themselves. When a gift is given with a ledger mindset, it’s about manipulation, not love.
I talk more about the mindset of cheaters in the ebook, “Why He Cheats“, including some deep diving into fantasies. I address fantasies because fantasies are what drives affairs. If you don’t stop the fantasies, you’re not going to stop the affair thinking.
The affair thinking is what’s behind ledger based gift giving.
It’s my hope that any gift giving is done out of love and not manipulation.
Best Regards,
Jeff
