There are many experiences that went into my training as a therapist. Part of that included training in psychodramas. The psychodrama experiences showed me how powerful the inner world of a person’s mind is.
In some of the psychodramas I participated in, there were alter egos, shadows and other aspects of people’s personality. Seeing how the person interacts with all the different parts of themselves was instructive.
There was something powerful about seeing all those internal parts being acted out. The struggle is more than an angel on one shoulder and a devil on the other.
In the psychodrama, the end goal was in the healing of the person and working together of all those parts of who they are. I’ve seen the power of those parts along with the healing they can bring. It also alerted me to the dangers of using the parts in a destructive manner.
Yesterday’s post touched on how people act differently when they are behind a mask or manufactured identity. There’s something about an alternative persona or ‘fursona’ in some circles that gives some people permission to do things they wouldn’t normally do.
In a few weeks, Halloween will be here. With that event, there are masquerades and parties where masks hide real identities. With the new identity or persona, it’s as if they have new confidence in initiating behavior they wouldn’t normally do.
They act like someone else. The mask gives them permission to be someone else.
The goal of those parties is not healing or helping someone pull all their parts together. Instead, they focus on ‘letting lose’ or indulging in things they have been wanting to do.
If your spouse has been thinking about an affair, parties with masks offer them an environment where their ‘alter ego’ or alternative persona to do what it wants. This is especially dangerous if they have a history of affairs.
The danger of affair relapse is high in those environments. Events that splits off parts of themselves are counter-productive to the healing of your marriage.
Being aware of these dangers is not enough. You also need an Affair Relapse Prevention Plan in order to counter the dangers. You’ll also want to consider the video “Overcoming Affair Relapse” in developing a plan for dealing with the dangerous situations of masked parties and the unleashing of personas.
When you have a plan, you can work with your spouse on ‘keeping it together‘ instead of ‘letting it all hang out‘.
Keeping It Real,
Jeff
