Have you ever wanted something that wasn’t good for you so bad that you ‘found excuses’ for it? I know I have. Experience has taught me that when my mind starts racing with the multitude of benefits and downplaying the costs or negatives that I am manipulating myself. I can tell when that happens by what feels like my mind shifting into high gear.
Sure, I do a cost-benefit analysis where the positives and negatives are compared, yet even those can be skewed when the desire for some object is strong enough. When my heart starts racing ahead of my rational side, I know that I’m steering toward trouble.
Two times in the past, there were guns I wanted to buy that at the time I thought I needed. In each case, I ended up not going through with what to me seemed like great deals at the time. Those episodes instructed me how vulnerable I can be to manipulating myself. I have since grown out of that phase of my life. Now there are other shiny objects that capture my attention.
This is also why I avoid going into Alfa-Romeo dealerships since my desire for the 4C sports car is so strong. I can easily list the MANY benefits of owning a 4C in Rosso Competizione Red with the special suspension. My mind revs up as much as it’s race-tuned engine, even to the point of the sound of it revving up blocking out any mention of drawbacks.
I could rattle off to Peggy about how a 4C Alfa-Romeo retains its value, is good on gas, has great investment potential, would give us the benefit of a smaller car for quick trips, and so forth. Anytime my mind starts running as fast as the car itself, yellow warning lights start flashing in my head.
Anytime you want something bad enough, your mind starts making excuses. Even when it comes to affairs. The benefits are always played up and the negatives are downplayed. You see someone, you want them, then you excuse having them. If you don’t find an excuse right away, you start looking for one or crafting one.
This is part of the downside of lust. Lust always finds a way of sneaking past rational thinking. It finds a way past the roadblocks of rational thinking. It finds a way of saying “All is well” when reality says otherwise.
It doesn’t help when as a consumer you are told to ‘have it your way’ or ‘you can have it all’, or ‘be all that you can be’ or ‘Life is short, have an affair’. Each of these lines appeals to gratification of lusts of one sort or another. When you or your spouse are struggling with wanting something or someone you can imagine yourself with, such mantras put gasoline on the fire that has been sparked inside of you.
Experience has taught me how easy it is to fall and excuse what happened. It has also taught me the importance of listening to those early signals warning of dangers ahead. Those warning signs are there for a reason.
If you or your spouse struggles with such situations, you’ll benefit from the e-book, “Why He Cheats”. The sooner you deal with the situation, the better. Those little lustful thoughts, turn into feelings, are followed by planning and finally execution. What started as a fantasy quickly turns into a done deal.
Best Regards,
Jeff
