Assuming that restoring your marriage after the cheating will occur quickly is a mistake. The situation leading up to the affair did not happen overnight, nor will it end and heal overnight. Healing takes time.
Why does healing take time?
-Your emotions need to recover from the shock of the affair.
-The bonding between you and your spouse will need time to grow stronger.
-It takes time to learn new ways of talking. This often requires a cycle of talk-let it sink in-do-talk-let it sink in-do…
-It takes time to forgive and let go of the bitterness
-It takes time to flush your mind of the images and fantasies
-It takes time to develop new habits
-It takes time to work through problems
-It takes time to rebuild trust
The materials with which you rebuild your relationship need time to strengthen and set. Trying to build a relationship too quickly can result in further fragmenting and pulling apart.
You will need to give yourself and your spouse time to change and time to heal. In today’s culture, we want things to happen fast. Wanting such quick responses is part of what contributed to the mess.
If you want more reminders and encouragement, consider my free newsletter which addresses many of the topics you need in recovering from your spouse’s affair.
Best Regards,
Jeffrey Murrah
