One of the many challenges you face in surviving your partners affair is dealing with pain. Pain magnifies problems, making them bigger and worse than they need to be.
Pain can trigger fear, making you avoid facing issues due to potential pain. So even the threat of more pain is a deterrent that impacts your choices.
In dealing with pain, one of the weird aspects of your body is that it doesn’t differentiate physical pain from emotional pain. That means that one form of pain makes the other type even worse. Emotional pain makes physical pain worse and physical pain makes emotional pain worse. Together they create a nightmare of discomfort.
Pain is also a powerful motivator. We move away from pain.
In moving away from pain, you become vulnerable to anything that reduces or eliminates pain. When you’re hurting bad enough, you want relief to the point you suspend any moral or legal limitations.
You don’t care about right and wrong when you’re hurting. Your main focus in on getting relief from the pain.
When you’re in this way of thinking, it’s not the time for making life changing choices. It’s also not the time for starting relationships, relying on drugs or alcohol or engaging other unsavory activities.
You need to deal with reducing the pain BEFORE making ANY life changing choice. Reduce the pain, then make choices.
I use the term ‘reduce’ the pain, since you may not be able to eliminate all pain. Reducing it to tolerable levels can make a big difference in your ability to deal with the affair and find solutions.
Best Regards,
Jeff
