When was the last time you had a hearty discussion about your reputation? When was the last time you heard a sermon on having a good reputation? In all likelihood, it’s probably been a long since since either one happened in your life. Reputation is one of those areas that are mentioned, but seldom seriously discussed.
Even here, I’ve mentioned the risk of your reputation being damaged by an affair, yet have not talked with you about reputation at length. Your reputation is your ‘good name’. When you have a good reputation, you’re treated respectably and fairly.
When you have a good reputation, you’re often given the ‘benefit of the doubt’. It’s assumed that you’ve not done anything wrong.
In previous generations, reputations were so valuable, duels were fought in maintaining them. Even those who did not have vast wealth, valued their reputations highly.
You may not have considered the connection, but reputations and affairs have some important connections. Affairs damage your good name. Whether you were the cheater or the cheated on, the damage dirties both of you.
The risk of a damaged reputation may even keep you from seeking help. You wonder what others would say if you were getting help in dealing with an affair. Help is a good thing, yet when it comes to affairs, gossipers make assumptions about the cheater and the betrayed.
Those who are in the spotlight often face unique challenges when it comes to dealing with their dirty laundry. They hurt like others do, yet dealing with dirty laundry which can damage their reputation often means they have have special handling in getting the help they need.
Although the risk of a damaged reputation should keep a would-be cheater from infidelity, these days it doesn’t often do that. When the would be cheater doesn’t value their reputation, how is it going to keep them from having an affair?
That’s one reason for me saying “affairs happen in the head before they happen in the bed”. When the would be cheater lusts in their heart and plans out the affair, they cast aside their reputation. At that point, sensual gratification means more to them than ‘having a good name’.
Cheaters are willing to trash their reputations, and those of their family could learn lessons from big companies. Many big companies guard their ‘good name’ or brand name feverishly. They have armies of lawyers ready to pounce on any trademark infringement. Those companies have learned their their good name is important. Their reputation is something worth keeping.
Consider a name like “Ferrari”. When you have a product with a particular reputation, you fight to keep your good name. Companies like Ferrari sue those who infringe on their good name. This way, they maintain a good name across generations.
If would be cheaters fought to keep their reputations in tact like Ferrari, they would make very different decisions.
4 Responses
Pro 22:1 A good name is rather to be chosen than great riches, and loving favour rather than silver and gold.
Except 7:1 A good name is better than precious ointment; and the day of death than the day of one’s birth.
The trouble in these days is that what used to be demanded of a person’s character is no longer held by the perceived “majority ” as the media has formed for people the “standards” rather than God s Word
Sin has become “normalized” through constant pounding of media
The command to study …rightly divide and renew the mind is a “hard sell” to all but those who take the Word of God as truth and Jesus Christ as Saviour
Creating a “front” and a stylized personae has now become more useful to the broader public..no longer the branding by those of stage and film….everybody is “reinventing” and may deceive by “identifying ” as “good ”
Don’t bother looking behind th curtain Dorothy ….there is no longer a “there ” there
Only hope in Jesus Christ ..accept no substitutes
Zaza,
I like the way you said, “Creating a “front†and a stylized personae has now become more useful to the broader public..no longer the branding by those of stage and film….everybody is “reinventing†and may deceive by “identifying †as “good â€.
These days, good and bad are more a product of your intentions rather than your actual actions. This way, the morality issue is both redefined and side-stepped. It no longer matters if you do something bad as long as you had ‘good intentions’ or ‘were not intending that anything bad happen’.
Since they can not eliminate their conscience, they twist and pervert it to excuse having real morality and facing real moral choices.
Thank you Jeff for your thoughts on this issue
Those who don’t know the God of the Bible are then able to attribute their troubled conscience to something other than God such as a “syndrome” wherein they may seek relief through therapy or drugs …either prescription or other
Interesting the popularity of this immoral or amoral age which seeks to legalize some substances to alter their state if a violated conscience
We hear more and more of this condition defined as a medical condition ….the latest is “election stress disorder”as their justification for the lack of submitting to moral character
Sad …no one gets stronger by leaning upon self defense of sin
Zaza,
I had not heard of “Election Stress Disorder“. Your comment led me to investigate it further. I see some of the first mention of it back in April. A pastor friend of mine often says that people keep looking for the ‘next big thing’. I suppose that this is the ‘next big thing’ used in excusing their misbehaving and guilty consciences.
Although no one gets stronger by leaning upon self-defense of sin, it doesn’t diminish their passionate drive toward sin. My only consolation is that some people turn from this path, and it does not have to be a permanent thing.