There are some affair related issues that there are easy answers for. By ‘easy’ answers I mean both simple answers and solutions where no one gets their feelings hurt.
If you’re one of those who avoids hurting others feelings at all costs, you should avoid affairs. You should avoid affairs anyway.
Those of you who avoid hurting others will find affairs involving a love child particularly brutal. There is no way anyone gets away without being wounded in some way.
While trying to avoid hurting someone else’s feelings, you end up hurting either yourself or another party. With affairs, whatever you do is going to hurt someone. Affairs are easier to start than they are to end. Everyone ends up getting hurt with affairs.
One of those no easy answer topics is that of a love child. Although a love child has done nothing wrong, the circumstances surrounding them brings pain.
A love child is surrounded by emotional baggage. You may not have asked for it, but it’s there. It’s a permanent reminder of what happened.
That permanent reminder makes it harder to forgive and forget. Anytime you or your spouse see that child, they are reminded of what happened.
The laws in some states regarding support can exert pressure on the biological parents with no regard for their marriages. This creates unnatural stresses in your home.
A love child puts the cheater in a position where they live in two worlds. There is always a balancing act between the child and your marriage. That balancing act gets intense when you add money issues into the mix.
When there’s a love child, the affair is never concluded. It may have ended, yet you are still facing the consequences of the actions of others. You may not have caused the mess, but you have to live with it. It’s not fair, yet that’s the way it is.
One of the tough challenges that comes with a love child is that of forgiveness. It’s hard forgiving when you had little to do with the mess. It also hard for some of you loving a child that not fully your own. It gets really hard when you and your own children suffer or struggle due to changes brought by the love child.
All these factors combine in creating an atmosphere of unforgiveness. In the video, “Forgiveness: Stop the Pain, tear down the walls and remove the roadblocks” you can find ways of starting the forgiveness process, even with a love child being involved.
You don’t have to continue carrying around the bitterness and resentments that come with a love child. Instead, you can take the necessary steps in letting go of that burden.
Keeping It Real,
Jeff
