Earlier this month, I had a Monday to remember. Although it ended up fine, the road to that ending was rocky in places.
One of the rocks we encountered was a tax bill from the State Comptroller for $113,000+. For multi-million dollar businesses, such an amount would be drop in the bucket. In my situation, it is considerable enough to grab my attention.
To make a long story short, the Comptroller claimed that he sent it in order to file for an extension and get our attention! There’s something about sending me a big bill to get my attention that doesn’t sit well with me.
There are other ways of grabbing my attention than sending me such a bill on the official state letterhead. Such methods strike me as ‘overkill’.
I typically see using overkill methods out of lawyers. I suppose that government officials are close cousins to lawyers in their methods and ploys.
The whole situation reminds me of how some spouses use their affair in an overkill manner to get your attention. Such methods are extreme, but they work.
Using an affair to get your attention amounts to screaming in your ear. It’s personal and in your face.
In some cases, the cheater wants your attention, in others, it amounts to giving you their middle finger with a spotlight on it. The cheater’s choice in lover gives you important clues about which this is.
Regardless of the motivation behind the overkill approach, it’s impact is shocking. There’s a sensation of being stunned and overwhelmed.
For me, there’s also a sense of disbelief. I ask myself “Is this really happening?”
When you’re hit with an overkill like this, it is in every sense… a trauma. Like other traumas, it brings with it loss of sleep, headaches, stomach pain, muscle tension and all the other trauma symptoms.
Affair Trauma is a real problem that leaves real scars and touches your health in very real ways. Ignoring it doesn’t help. If anything, it allows the effects to spread.
You need to deal with the trauma before dealing with the affair in order to be able to think clearly. When you don’t deal with the trauma, or isolate, your decisions become reactionary and impulsive.
Your window of decision making is short and you only think in terms of immediate results. This kind of action won’t help you with recovery.
This is where membership in the support community at Restored Lifestyle comes in. There you’ll have access to videos and articles on overcoming affair trauma along with material on how to change the communication in your marriage so that such overkill methods of getting your attention aren’t needed.
You can start making changes within minutes of becoming a member, or you can wait and allow your reactions to fester another day.
Keeping It Real,
Jeff
