You have likely been inundated with the press coverage of protests proclaiming ‘black lives matter’. The slogan is used on facebook, t-shirts and homemade signs (each of which has a price tag associated with them).
Life is valuable and lives do matter. Black lives matter, red lives matter, brown lives matter, white lives matter, yellow lives matter. All lives matter.
All lives have value, even if there’s not an official t-shirt with an accompanying price tag to show that I care. Although I don’t care for the commercialization of the slogan “Black lives matter”, I like the idea behind it.
It’s a catchy slogan. Placing a high value on life is a good place to start. It is a good start for life and a good start for your relationships.
Life and living matters to you and to many others. In watching all the coverage, it bothered me that although the message that ‘black lives matter’ is emphasized, the same emphasis is not placed on marriage.
I thought to myself that many cities and communities could be turned around and improved if the same emphasis was placed on the importance of marriage and commitment to it.
Even if each married spouse valued the life of their spouse. Just imagine if spouses remained true to their marriage vows and that couples who had been living together finally committed to the institution of marriage.
If that happened, you’d see changes happen before your eyes. When marriages matter, families are strengthened, children have improved self-esteem, communicable diseases quit spreading so fast, and neighborhoods become safer places.
If spouses treated each other like they mattered, marriages transform. You wouldn’t cheat on your spouse if you truly believed that lives matter.
You wouldn’t treat your spouse carelessly and speak to them harshly if you cared about them and the quality of their life along with the quality of your marriage.
You wouldn’t use trashy words when talking to them. Instead you’d be building them up because they matter. They’re important to you and you let them know that.
You’d show self-respect along with respecting them. The hardness that comes with disregard would be a thing of the past.
Marriages are the foundational relationship to families. Families will only be as strong as the marriage relationship. When your commitment to marriage is weak, the commitment to the family will be weak.
When the bonds that hold people together are weak, you are tempted to ‘love the one you’re with’ rather than your spouse. When the bonds of your marriage are weak, you’ll find yourself resorting to threats or violence to make things happen.
When love and commitment are not the motivators in relationships, they are often replaced by the ugliness of threats and violence. Relationships become ugly and selfish when there is no love and commitment.
Each party tries to one-up and take advantage of the other rather than work together for the good of each other.
If you truly believed that life and the quality of life matters, you would not waste it on drugs and indulging in pornography. You would not need or require artificial stimulants, because you believe and live as if life matters.
If lives matter, you will value them, care for them and treat others decently. You will show others that life is important.
You will show respect and give respect, because you respect life. Instead of valuing and protecting life, the irony that Planned Parenthood has joined the “#Black Lives Matter” movement. Such actions cheapen the message, with a huge disconnect.
Being one of the largest sources of the loss of black lives there is a mixed message, which turns the saying life matters into an ironic farce.
Giving respect and treating life with respect will do more to change neighborhoods than blocking subways, congesting traffic and having shouting matches in public places.
When life truly matters, it shows without you having to scream it.
When your marriage truly matters, the world will see it in how you live and how you treat your spouse.
Rather than having people hide behind catchy slogans with the ‘official T-shirt’, you need to start showing your spouse that they matter to you.
Best Regards,
Jeff
