You already know the many ways cheating changed your life and marriage. When going through those times you wonder “Will life and my marriage ever get back to normal?”
Although it sounds harsh, the plain truth is it will never get back to the way it was before. So if you’re definition of ‘normal’ is getting back to the way it was, you’re in for disappointment.
What can be done is creating a new normal. The old ways no longer work for them.
The likelihood that your life and marriage will recover is actually pretty good based on the number of couples who make it through affairs. a majority of couples managed salvaging their lives and marriages.
You may even wonder how they did it along with what’s different.
Although their marriages are not what they once were, they’re different. In many cases, the affair was a wake-up call. Their marriage needed changes. The crisis of the affair gave them the motivation for making those changes.
Some couples wouldn’t have made changes until they were hurting bad enough to start making changes. Human nature puts off making changes until there’s a crisis, even in relationships.
They changed the way they talk to each other along with what they talk about. The affair still hurts them, yet they managed growing closer by solving the problems together. What they couldn’t solve, the learned better ways of living with.
What’s more important is that they learned better ways of living with each other. Going outside of marriage is no longer an option. They focus on the future they can share together rather than obsessing on what they lost.
Forgiveness was part of the healing process. They realized that holding onto resentments and grudges weren’t getting them anywhere. If anything holding onto the hurts created distance between them.
They also realized how important their marriage is to them. They learned new ways of trusting and put down a new foundation in their marriage.
When you decide you’ve had enough of the hurt and want change, a good place to start is with forgiveness. In the video “Forgiveness: Stop the Pain, Tear down the Walls and Remove the Roadblocks“, I share with you techniques for putting the hurts behind you.
It could be that your ideas about forgiveness are interfering with you forgiving. You think you already know what to do, you just haven’t done it yet.
This is the day you can change that. Click and download the video today and within minutes you’ll be changing the direction things are headed.
Keeping It Real,
Jeff
