During my years in the counseling room, I saw many things that astounded me. One of those things that astounded me was how many people don’t feel their emotions.
This shows up in a variety of ways. Some claim not knowing what they are feeling. Although I see the non-verbals on their face and in body language, they really are clueless as to what they are feeling.
It’s not that they are dumb in any way, they’re so out of touch with their emotions or numb, they don’t know what they are experiencing or even have a vocabulary for expressing it.
There are also some who withdraw from feelings in some form of running away. They withdraw to the point they don’t feel their feelings.
Some jump into mental processing in order to distance themselves from any emotions. They become more robot than human at that point.
The truth is those emotions are important. Sure, you can ignore them or turn them off. These strategies work for quick fixes, yet in the long run it leaves you an emotional cripple.
A motivational speaker friend put it this way, “When you don’t feel your emotions they become bigger than you.” My experience validates his statement.
Not only do they become bigger than you, their growth is exponential. Not only that, when you feel that you’ve lost part of yourself, a big portion of that is your emotions.
When it comes to emotions, you can learn to live with them or they will master you. They give you metrics on what’s happening inside of you.
One writer I like says “Feeling is the temperature of thought“. They provide a measure of how intense things are.
When it comes to dealing with affairs, dealing with your emotions is a must. Dealing with them starts with feeling them followed by expressing them. How can someone get close to your heart when they never know what you feel?
You expressing your emotions allows them to see your heart and find their way to it. If you’ve shut down your emotions, putting off dealing with them is not doing yourself a favor.
The sooner you start feeling and dealing with them, the sooner they start healing. In the video, “Getting Past the Affair Crisis”, you can begin the process of recovery from the affair, including getting in touch with your emotions along with ways of expressing them without attacking others.
Keeping It Real,
Jeff
