You can gain learn a lot about relationships when you gain insights from your life experiences. One incident from my young adulthood where I learned a lesson about relationships is when a roommate was in a heated fight with his girlfriend filled with allegations of cheating. Since they were arguing in the hallway, it could not be ignored. They had been going on for a while, then my roommate blurted out “Tell me what you want to hear, and I’ll tell it to you!” On hearing his comment, I thought to myself, ‘she is not going to fall for that is she?’ I had seen the cheating myself, so I knew what had actually occurred. Surprisingly, she did fall for what he said. He told her what she wanted to hear and she calmed down. That incident has stayed with me over the years.
It showed me that some people want to be happy, even if it means believing a lie. It was more important for that young woman to believe an untruth than to accept the reality of her relationship situation with my roommate. That young woman is like many women and some men, who would rather believe the lies their spouse is telling them about cheating, so that they can be happy rather than face the truth about what is actually occurring. Believing the lies often allows you to go on with life without being interrupted. Affairs have a way of interrupting life and making things messy. It would be nice if they could take the honest approach used in a line from the Gordon Lightfoot song, “I’m not Sayin'” where he says, “I’m not sayin’ I’ll be true but I’ll try”.
You need more honesty. Honesty with yourself. Honesty with your God, honesty with your spouse, and honesty about your life.
Best Regards,
Jeffrey Murrah
