One of the things I don’t like about rain is how it warps wood. Anytime I leave wood outside exposed to the elements, it twists and turns into something I never imagined.
I’m reminded of this every time I open the door to my chicken coop. The door which opened so smoothly now requires a little effort and holding it in a particular way to make all the locks and latches work.
In a similar way, infidelity puts unnatural pressures on your marriage. When marriages are exposed to unnatural forces, it warps things. When relationships warp, nothing works like it did before.
That warping also means that some parts of your relationship require effort. Things don’t go as smooth as they used to.
It also means that the betrayed spouse is now in a sexual competition with the lover. The competition and comparison is felt by everyone involved.
Whether or not creating was intended, it’s there. This is one of those unnatural things that happen with affairs.
Who is more sexual? Who is more attractive? Who is more fun?
You’re put into a competition situation that you shouldn’t be in. Instead of competition, the two of you should have been finding ways of growing closer.
Instead of growing closer, you’re now trying to get attention and love that should have already been going toward you. If you feel that you shouldn’t have to be in this situation, you’re right.
Although you shouldn’t have in competition, that’s the position the cheater put you in. Although you’re now competing, as the spouse, you have the advantage.
The problem is that most spouses don’t realize they have the advantage or know how to use that advantage to their benefit. The deception and lies confuse things.
While caught up in the confusion and delusion, you feel helpless and weak. You face the choice of giving into those lies or doing something about it. Instead of playing the victim card, make the most of your position.
One of the things you can do is click and download the Affair Recovery Workshop. It guides you in unlocking communication and changing the patterns in your marriage relationship.
It could be that all you need is for someone to point you in the right direction and remind you of how to use the tools you have. You’ll find them in the workshop. Click and download your copy today.
This is a good time for taking back your marriage.
Keeping It Real,
Jeff
