Typically, rational thinking is a good thing, until it comes to affairs. Affairs and rational thinking are a dangerous combination.
What makes them a dangerous combination is that with an affair, the rational thinking starts being used in justifying the affair.This happens when the cheater’s focus shifts to a self-centered mindset that comes with an affair.
Instead of viewing infidelity as wrong, someone caught up in self-centered rational thinking starts using it to make the affair acceptable.
Rational thinking starts making excuses for the infidelity. It starts finding reasons for having the affair.
This is why you need a moral compass when dealing with an affair. The rational mind gets tainted by the emotions and desires. That shift in focus turns their mind into a weapon.
Once tainted, rational thinking starts finding more reasons for having an affair.
Factors that shouldn’t be part of their thinking are now used. Issues like longevity, sexual performance, attractiveness, self-gratification are thrown into the rational thinking process.
Using rational thinking to deal with affair temptations amounts to looking for loopholes or work around solutions that allow a cheater to indulge in their desired behaviors.
With a moral compass, you’d know that some things are right and wrong, no matter how your mind attempts justifying it. You need moral limits. Those limits actually protect you from using rational thinking to indulge in immoral behavior.
Affairs are when you need to do the right thing rather than ‘be reasonable’. Selfish reasoning leads to bad choices. In the recovery community, when reasoning gets twisted, it’s called stinking thinking.
You also need to know that when the stinking thinking shows up disguised as ‘being reasonable‘ or rational that an affair relapse is likely. This is one of the warning signs that trouble is coming.
In the video “Overcoming Affair Relapse“, you can learn what other signs to look for and ways of dealing with them. Click and download the video today. Reduce the threats to your marriage in the cheater’s head.
Keeping It Real,
Jeff
