One of the things I enjoy is talking with my sons. Whether it’s their achievements, challenges or setbacks, I enjoy hearing their perspective on things.
Although I enjoy hearing of what happens, one recent incident concerned me. In an interaction with a higher level manager, the manager told him “Don’t let your principles get in the way of your job!” It bothered me when I heard it and continues haunting me now.
The irony didn’t escape me. She meant it as an advisory warning. The message itself was a red flag warning about the values or lack of values held by the manager. It sends the message that “holding onto your job is more important than anything else.”
The ramifications of that attitude is alarming. If that’s the attitude of leaders in the business world, it’s no wonder some business are struggling and many CEO’s of large businesses have sexual addiction problems. Principles are important on the job and in everyday life. When you hold onto a job at all costs, those costs eventually catch up to you.
The compromises in principles you made along the way amounts to selling out your soul one piece at a time. What’s to stop someone like that from lying, cheating or deceiving in order to get their way. Since principles are secondary, everything suddenly becomes fair.
Consider the ramifications if that manager said “Don’t let your principles get in the way of your relationships!” That is the mindset of many cheaters. They want the extra-marital relationship and don’t care what principles they violate or lies they tell in order to hold onto it.
Attitudes like that don’t just happen. They start off with small compromises. The little compromises become bigger ones, until they have totally thrown their principles out the window. I wonder if the cheater’s attitude starts with not letting their principles get in the way of their job. They start learning that taking care of their own selfish needs is more important than doing what’s right.
When you sell out your principles for your job, what’s to stop you from selling them out regarding your marriage?
Selling out your principles is something that doesn’t end when you leave the job site at the end of the day. You can’t just put principles on and off like a set of clothes.
This is why it’s so important to not quit affair recovery work just when the affair ends. Ending the affair is just one part of recovery. Removing the affair from the heart and mind of the cheater is essential.
The thinking of the cheater in terms of compromising principles needs attention as well. It’s a sure sign that they are on the road to affair relapse. Instead of going down that road again, take steps now to prevent it from happening.
In the video “Preventing Affair Relapse“, I share with you what to look for and how to help them through this challenging part of affair recovery.
Removing the affair doesn’t change their thinking. They need more specific interventions in making those changes. Changes like valuing principles once again.
If you or your spouse needs help in overcoming the danger of affair relapse, order your copy of the video today.
Keeping It Real,
Jeff
