Although ‘ghosting’ is typically viewed as a negative experience, there are times when it’s a blessing in disguise. Ending a relationship by ghosting is abrupt and harsh. It’s also effective.
Why do so many people ghost? Because it works. Ghosting causes the other person to be completely blindsided when you decide to end things, leaving them hurt and confused without having any idea of what they did wrong.
One of the places where ghosting is a good thing is when you’re ending an affair. I know it might seem harsh to ghost someone whom you’ve been intimate with, but sometimes the kindest thing you can do is end things as quickly and cleanly as possible.
Ghosting definitely tests your loyalties. Is your loyalty to your spouse stronger than your loyalty to the AP? Since you didn’t marry the AP, you don’t owe them an explanation for ending the affair. You don’t owe them closure in any form or fashion.
This deals a serious blow to their ego; they go from being in a relationship-in-name-only to realizing that you were faking this whole time just In many ways, it’s one of the preferred ways of ending the affair. It keeps anyone from being led on.
Paul Simon sang of 50 Ways to leave your lover. Although he didn’t mention ghosting, it should be added to the list.
There’s no easy way of ending an affair and leaving your lover. When you let them down easy, it only prolongs the pain and suffering for everyone. Ghosting gives you the opportunity of ending things without hearing a word in return.
Ghosting is so effective because there is no way for the other party to fight back or defend themselves. The fallout of ghosting can be detrimental. There will be angry reactions and efforts to reconnect with you.
Although abrupt endings that come with ghosting are jarring and abrupt, they’re effective. It severs the relationship and all the emotional entanglement it brings.
So when a reader wrote about ‘ending a long-term affair with her ghosting him’ looking for answers, my response was one of relief. He’s got a lot to be thankful for. He’s been given the gift of an easy way out. Ending things by ghosting is a blessing in disguise, and it’s one that you give to yourself.
He should be giving thanks that his affair is over and that she chose one of the least painful ways of ending it. Although his focus is on his pain and rejection with questions about why it happened to him, and why she did this, he’d do better in stopping assuming that it’s all about himself.
Instead of leading him on and dragging things out, she ended it abruptly. Keeping it going only takes both of them down a deep dark relationship hole.
Ending the affair gives him new options.
No one enjoys abrupt endings of relationships, even when it’s in their best interest to end it. At those times, it’s important to look at the longer-term benefits rather than the short-term hurts. The ghosting may help the AP avoid future relationships with married playmates.
In the video “Help for the Cheater: Starting the Road to Recovery”, I share how to start turning your life around. Rather than running back to the lover, when the affair ends, you can turn your life around.
Are you struggling with an affair?
You can start turning your life around. I share how to end the affair and return to your marriage in my video “Help for the Cheater: Starting the Road to Recovery.” Rather than running back to the lover, when the affair ends, you can turn your life around. You no longer have to be defined by your relationships. You can move past them. Click and download a copy of my video today!
Do you want help starting on that road to recovery? If so, click this ad now and download a copy of Help for the Cheater’s new video “Starting The Road To Recovery“! It will show you how to end an affair and get back into a healthy relationship with yourself and others!
Keeping It Real,
Jeff
