Can You Be Brainwashed Into An Affair?

A reader asked whether someone can be brainwashed into an affair. If I hadn’t dealt with such situations, it would have been hard to believe. However, I believe that some people are indeed brainwashed into an affair.

The Mechanics of Brainwashing

Let me explain. You’re well aware that you can be seduced. Although you want to think that you can resist that seduction, some lovers are highly skilled in the arts of seducing. When a skilled seducer is at work, they stack the deck in their favor. They often use the environment, circumstances, and timing to their advantage. They use forms of mental manipulation, threats of lawsuits, and even chemicals to enhance their seduction.

Even the threat of exposing the affair is a powerful force in manipulating the cheater’s behavior. The mental seductions they use are potent. When those mental seductions are combined with alcohol, drugs, or peer pressure, the likelihood of resistance is minimal.

If their target has opened themselves up to spiritual seductions and influences, the likelihood of resistance to seduction is even less. When I mention resistance, I am referring to the likelihood of the victim having the conscious ability to say “No” to the advances and ploys of the seducer.

The Ineffectiveness of "Just Say No"

When it comes to seduction, the “Just say NO” policy is not strong enough. The preferred policy is running away. Like it or not, those people who hold to Bible-based values and teachings are less likely to be seduced. There are some religious seducers, but I’ll deal with that population in a later post. Those holding to Biblical values have likely not opened themselves up to the influences which make seduction via brainwashing easier.

Manipulating the Environment

With brainwashing, the seducer manipulates the environment. They use mental, spiritual, and emotional ploys in trapping and controlling the cheater. Each of these ploys is used to take charge or control of their target in some dimension. Since they use tried and trusted ploys, they are experienced in what they are doing. Words are used like weapons in wearing down even the likelihood of resistance.

They make it hard to say no. That option is removed from the table. After softening up their target and reducing the likelihood of saying no, they begin sexualizing the relationship along with increasing the sensuality. By shifting the focus to a sensual one and increasing the emphasis on sexual matters, they manage to get the target worked up to the point that the target wants the release of sexual tensions.

The Power of Sexual Tension

When the desire to release sexual tensions overpowers their resistance, the seduction has been accomplished. Once the seduction happens, there’s a danger of it happening again. Now the seducer has the added dimension of guilt/shame for use against their target.

In such circumstances, the cheater may not have wanted to cheat, yet didn’t have the mental and spiritual stamina to say ‘No’. They were too weak-minded or emotionally overwhelmed to resist. When such brainwashing seductions occur, they are powerful and more about control than they are about the sex. Being able to take control of another person is a powerful motivator for seducers.

The longer the affair continues, the greater the likelihood that the seducer takes the relationship to deeper levels of deprivation. With each level of deprivation, they have more guilt, which means more control over the cheater.

Breaking Free from Brainwashing

Breaking the brainwashing can be done, but often requires considerable effort to accomplish. If you discover this kind of seduction occurring, action is needed. What starts off as a seduction into an affair leads to exploitation and brokenness.

Reflection Questions

1. How does the environment and circumstances contribute to the effectiveness of seduction and brainwashing?
2. What are some red flags that indicate someone may be under the influence of mental manipulation?
3. How can holding onto strong personal values help in resisting seduction?
4. What steps can be taken to break free from the control of a manipulative seducer?
5. How can professional counseling assist in recovering from the emotional and psychological impact of such an affair?

Getting Help

The downloadable “Affair Recovery Workshop” guides the two of you in rebuilding your marriage, your communication, and your intimacy. Getting started is as simple as clicking the link, completing the form, and in minutes, you’ll be starting the affair recovery journey.

Best Regards,

Jeff