You’ll find that pride is a double-edged sword. Pride drives the cheater to extremes. They may decide that “I deserve more,” “I deserve to be happy,” or some similar sentiment.
That pride fuels their search for fulfillment outside of marriage. Pride has a huge appetite and always ‘wants more.’
Pride is a problem not limited to cheaters. It also afflicts the betrayed spouse. Pride often keeps you from forgiving and from seeing any options for reconciliation. “How could they?” “I can’t believe they would do that to ME!” and “…after all I did for them…” are some of the phrases you find with pride.
Pride keeps you from seeing things you need to see.
When pride hits, you find yourself in disbelief that your spouse could do what they did to you. Pride also keeps you looking at what they did rather than seeing that you were not the wife or husband that you needed to be.
It’ll keep your eyes on their wrong rather than seeing how you were not there for them. You likely have a good reason for not being there, which is the alibi you use. It’s easier seeing their wrong than examining anything you could have done differently.
When it comes to examining the affair, pride makes you take the affair as an insult. You believe that you are such a perfect husband or wife, that you take umbrage that the cheater was so unappreciative.
Pride keeps your eyes on the sleaze that your spouse is for daring to do what they did. When self-righteousness is added to the pride, you likely see the cheater as SCUM, a total bottom-dwelling type of person, while you are a “good person.”
The self-righteousness looks at everything through black or white lenses. You are all good, and they are all bad.
Pride keeps any hope of reconciliation at arm’s length distance. Pride will keep blinders on your eyes, preventing you from seeing any part you played in what happened.
It is easier to see the affair as a problem and marriage killer than it is to see pride as a marriage killer. Pride kills the spirit of the marriage long before the affair ‘finishes it off.’
If your marriage has been damaged by pride, it’s time to do something about it. Your marriage can improve. The “30 Days to a Better Marriage” Program guides the two of you in turning your marriage around.
Click the link, fill out the form, and start turning your marriage around before pride messes things up.
Best Regards,
Jeff
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