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When communication breaks down, is talking or listening the problem?

One of the complaints I often hear from wives is “he won’t communicate“. I also hear it from husband’s yet with less frequency.

Although I’ve discussed it before, this issue is so foundational to relationships that it bears repeating.  When you are dealing with a basic issue, it’s worth getting right.

The great basketball coach Johnny Wooden made it a point of starting his coaching with covering the basics of how to put on socks and tie shoes correctly. He knew that getting the basics right makes a difference.

In the case of relationships, communication is always going on. There may not be words and discussions, but that doesn’t mean there’s a lack of communication.

Keep in mind that ‘energy’ is a form of communication. The energy or ‘vibes’ you sense from your spouse is a form of communication.

Even when they are not verbally expressing themselves, they’re still communicating. What happens is that one spouse is not listening or tuning into the energy.

It’s not surprising that listening is such an issue. With all the distractions around you, it makes tuning in or listening hard to do.

You may not like the energy you’re picking up on. Even when you don’t like it, the reality is that something is being communicated. Even when you’re not listening with your ears, your body senses the energy.

As a couple, the two of you will sync up and get on the same energy level. That energy frequency will either be yours or theirs. You face the choice of which one you tune into.

The point is that communication problems are actually ‘listening’ problems.

In the download, “Affair Recovery Workshop“, I address communication in more detail. Improving communication in your marriage involves ‘tuning in’ to your spouse.

I’ll show you ways for the two of you to better tune into and be aware of each other. If you’re looking for better ways expressing yourself, you are in the wrong place.

If, on the other hand you want better ways of connecting with your spouse, and tuning into each other, you are in the right place.

Keep in mind that Ludwig Beethoven was deaf. He never heard his ninth symphony. Instead he felt it and sensed it through vibrations. He knew what he created by knowing its energy.

Likewise, there are ways of connecting with your spouse that aren’t limited to your words or their words.

Best Regards,



Nothing in this Work is intended to replace common sense, legal, medical or other professional advice. If your situation warrants it, please seek competent professional counsel.