In working through an affair, some decisions will need to consider the unique relationship between you and your spouse. What worked for mom and dad may be a good thing to do, but is it the best thing for the two of you to do?
They discovered what worked for their relationship. It often requires effort to find what works in your unique relationship. Relationships are not a “one size fits all” situation.What worked for them may not be the best for your marriage.
This is exceptionally true in the area of affairs, when you consider that in 40% of families, that behavior continues from generation to generation. When there’s a family pattern of affairs, how mom and dad did things may not be the best role model. In fact copying what they did may only be continuing the problem to another generation.
Applying one size fits all solutions is a sure way to impede intimacy. You may find something that has helpful aspects, but consider whether it works for you and your spouse in improving the intimacy between the both of you.
Most often if you do what mom and dad did, you’ll likely end up with the same dirty laundry that your mom and dad had as well. It also doesn’t help intimacy when you compare your relationship with that of your parents.
You need to see your spouse as a unique, original person without comparing them to others.
Best Regards,
Jeff
