One of the strange phenomena I have encountered in dealing with infidelity is ‘scripted affairs’. This is when there is an outside third party actively working to create an affair situation. The third party often stands to gain from an affair occurring. Such situations are challenging since there are problems occurring on two levels. On one level there are the actions taken to create a situation where an affair could occur. They often work overtime to set the stage for such an event to take place.
On another level, there are the rumors initiated that an affair occurred. By starting the rumors, seeds of doubt are planted which often create friction between spouses, even though no affair has occurred. It is as if they have poisoned the water supply of trust by starting rumors.
When dealing with such situations, the old Roman question of “Qui bono?” helps. This latin phrase translates to ‘who benefits?’. When you identify who benefits from rumors or the possibility of an affair, you often find who has been fanning the flames of rumor and setting the stage for the emotional drama associated with an affair.
Best Regards,
Jeff Murrah
