A perusal of the internet reveals that there are many quizzes concerning the signs of cheating/infidelity. If you are looking for one of those checklist or quizzes on whether or not an affair is going on, you will not find one here. With the changing nature of affairs, many of the signs and symptoms have changed. In previous generations, it was lipstick on the collar, clothes that smelled of perfume/cologne, and changes in personal habits (hours at work, days at work, etc.). With the advent of the internet and cell phones, many of the signs to look for have changed. Rather than give you a detailed list, the best thing to go on is your intuitions or gut-level uneasiness about the situation.
If you feel that your spouse has pulled away from you, find out what is going on. Sometimes they pull away and turn their job or career into a mistress. In these situations, you will feel like there is an affair, although you will never find lipstick, cologne, or other tell-tale signs.
When you pursue your gut feelings, if an affair is going on, you will see the signs and symptoms of the activity. Secretiveness regarding e-mails, and phone calls is often a signal of potential issues. If they do not indicate and affair, they certainly indicate some trust related issues showing up in the marriage. Since humans often follow patterns, if there is a history of infidelity, of your spouse or their family, you may want to follow up on your suspicions rather than dismiss them. If you do have suspicions of an affair, what are you responding or reacting to? The clearer you can be on that point will provide guidance as to where you should begin looking.
Given that humans can be very creative and devious, an infidel is sure to be aware of the signs and symptoms of cheating and be taking steps to minimize them. In the event that they want to be caught, they may even be trying to send you signals that they are cheating, so that you can stop it rather than them taking the stand to stop the activity.
I have also seen times that suspicions of an affair occur when no affair is actively going on but the marriage is at a vulnerable place.
To sum up, trust your gut over the quizzes and checklists. Inf you suspect something, do not wait. Your suspicion is based on something. Follow up on your suspicions, since you may be preventing something from occurring that could have severe consequences on your family.
Best Regards,
Jeff Murrah
