With all the resources and books available for couples, how can you tell which ones to trust? What they often want to know are which authors I recommend. This is a valid question and concern which I am often asked by couples . I have not read all the books that are out there. It would be a full time job just reading everything that is published on the topic. There are a few that I recommend without hesitation. Willard F. Harley, who wrote His Needs, Her Needs puts our consistently good material. His site, Marriage Builders does a good job. I also like Gary Smalley’s early materials. His books, If Only He Knew and For Better or Best are solid. Smalley and Harley are the major Christian oriented writers I prefer. I am also familiar with Elissa Gough’s material and can recommend her books. She has a website called Face Reality, which is solid in terms of dealing with affairs.
In terms of the heavy duty material, Patrick Carnes is what is needed for the sexual addictions. A scary reality is that some affairs do involve sexual addictions of one type or another. He has been in the forefront of addressing this issue for many years.
There are other good books out there. Frank Pittman’s material has been spoken of very highly, although I have not gone through it myself.
There is often some material of value in many of the resources out there. I do steer away from authors that advocate “open marriage” as a solution from things. That approach often confuses the people I work with since they are seeking reconciliation in most cases. The main person that you should listen to is your counselor and your pastor. They will know you and your personal needs better than myself.
Best Regards,
Jeffrey Murrah
