What stops you from taking action on the affair situation that is happening? In many ways overcoming inaction when it comes to affairs is one of the biggest hurdles you may encounter.
There are many reasons for not taking action. The reasons for inaction vary from fear to procrastination, to confusion to just plain being overwhelmed and stunned.
When you first discover the affair, you may actually deny what you just discovered. Your mind may not want to accept what it was just exposed to. If that desire to not accept is strong enough, it will bend and distort reality for quite a while. Your mind has the power to alter reality in a major way.
Some of you may alter reality to the point that you deny facts and evidence. I mention this since after discovering an affair, your next step is often ‘taking action’. When you deny either the affair or the seriousness of the affair, you end up delaying taking action.
Even when the denial catches up with you, it may still take a while before you do anything. You may know that you have to take action, but deny that you have to take that action now. This is often called ‘procrastination’. You know action is needed, you just put off doing it.
So how can you deal with this delay in taking action?
There are several options:
1. You can delay until the crisis reaches the point where you have to take action. Here you are re-acting rather than taking initiative. This option will leave you feeling powerless and helpless in dealing with your situation.
2. When you start caring more about your marriage more than your own comfort, you are then willing to start taking action. This requires making that decision “I am going to do something“. The more times you choose to do something and do it, the easier it becomes. When your marriage is the main priority, there will be less fear.
3. You can take action seeking the path of least resistance. Here you take action, yet it is calculated and targeted. You choose the path of least resistance. This is often the pathway that leads to many traps and problems. By choosing the path of least resistance or the easiest path, you are doing more than going default, yet barely more. Your conscience will let you know you are doing something, yet the things you are doing are often ineffective and ‘safe’.
4. You can be bold, take risks and do ‘whatever it takes’ to turn the situation around. This is bold. This will challenge any desire for security. There is often a trade-off of boldness and security. You will either get one or the other.
So what actions are you going to take today in dealing with the affair?
Best Regards,
Jeff Murrah
