It often happens that in the conflicts that occur related to an affair, the subject of maturity comes up. One aspect of maturity involves having a realistic perceptions of others, yourself and your relationship. With this in mind, maturity requires that your perception of others is realistic. That means that you look at them for who they are, not the potential or what they want to be, or who they were. You need to see them for who they are. If they are a homewrecker, you will need to acknowledge that. If they are a god digger or an opportunits, you will need to tell yourself that.
Along with seeing the other people, including your spouse for who they are. You will also need to be honest with yourself. Are you the person that you pretend to be? Do you like who you are? Have you been treating your spouse well? Have you honestly made every effort you can to help the marriage? These are challenging questions that will help you honsetly appraise who you are.
Along with the realistic apprasials of who you are and your relationships, there are other aspects of maturity to consider. Maturity also involves the ability to delay gratification. Relationships that have developed this aspect are healthier than the ones based on immediate gratification. Relationships driven by immediate gratification tend to be weaker and more problematic.
Now is the time to put on your big boy/girl pants and assess your maturity level. If it is not what it needs to be, then work on it.
Best Regards,
Jeffrey Murrah
