I recently read an account about Governor Jester of Texas, who died of a heart attack on his private train after meeting with his lover. Most accounts of his life omit this episode. Even the account I read was prefaced with how ‘those times were different’. That preface bothered me. It also struck me that there are times that whole generations excuse infidelity by using the phrase “it was the times”. Whether the excuse of the world war II generation, that ‘it was wartime’ or the 60’s generation of ‘it was the time of free love and Vietnam’. I suspect that even today there will be excuses made for Iraq and Afghanistan. Each generation manufactures its own excuse to justify infidelity. One war, or crisis works as good as the next one. Somehow such crises make it easier on the conscience.
I have met members of the world war II generation that would put some of the free love folks to shame in terms of the flagrancy of their adulteries. They just hide their actions behind a veil of decency rather than honestly address what occurred. Many “Dear John” letters had affairs at the root of them.
The reality is that infidelity remains infidelity. The excuses may change over time, but the act remains as destructive during war time as peace. It seems that when soldiers and those involved in the crises need their spouses most is when they are most tempted to cheat.
Best Regards,
Jeffrey Murrah
