Does God actually not want a cheater to be miserable? Is it more important for a cheater to be “happy” than for them to honor their vows, be honest, live a peaceable life, love their spouse and treat people right? Some cheaters are so self-centered that they think their own emotional state is MORE important than all those things.
I hear many excuses for affairs. The human mind astounds me with how it can come up with some mighty outlandish ways of making what is wrong sound right.You may have likely heard some of these excuses.
The excuse “God would not want me to be miserable!” is one that is especially irritating. Sometimes the variation of “God wants me to be happy is also used.” With this excuse, the user is combining theology with rationalization. They are in effect trying to using God’s nature to condone their behavior.
When this rationalization is used, they are telling you that they want to claim the loving aspects of God, and use that to justify their actions. They conveniently leave out or avoid mentioning God’s stance on adultery, the penalties for adultery, His views on divorce or disapproval of remarriage. Each of those are thorny issues they do not want you to mention or deal with.
It is not just the cheater either. Many churches avoid dealing with these topics, focusing instead on God’s love and his forgiving nature. It is as if they dismiss any mention of the need for doing the right thing, treating people right, seeking after righteousness, or keeping their promises to you. All those issues become secondary when they latch onto the “God does not want me to be miserable!” excuse.
Using the ‘not wanting me to be miserable’ line is a total avoidance of responsibility. If they only knew that the term miserable goes back to its root word miser. Misers often hold onto money and possessions to the point they become emotionally distraught, hence the term miser-able or miserable.
Even in using the excuse they are making an admission that they are trying to hold onto something that is not in their best interest. Like the greedy king holding onto ever coin he can, rather than use it to better the people, they are holding onto their pet sexual indulgence, even though it is not in their best interest.
Not only are they holding onto it, they are attempting to tell you that God allowed them to do so and he approves of their action. Some even go so far as to find a local pastor, church or ‘spiritual authority’ to support their non-Biblical position. Somehow if the authority figure backs them up, it makes their excuses all okay.
The cheater using such an excuse for their adultery portray a picture of God as one whose primary goal is their happiness, which often occurs at the expense of others happiness. They do not realize that they are actually making happiness their God, rather than finding out what makes God happy.
Such excuses as “God does not want me to be miserable” are not good for the adulterer, their paramour or their families.
Best Regards,
Jeff
