In dealing with infidelity, there will comes times that the phrase “to hell with it” is the best description. The feelings will ebb and flow with passions rising and lowering. This is important to realize. Some days you will love the cheater and others you may feel that they need to be taken out with the trash. Since the feelings are always changing, it is important that you do not make life-changing choices on something as ‘fickle’ as feelings and your present emotional state. Your emotions, like the weather, will change.
Making the pronouncement “to hell with it” is a sure way to send the situation to hell. It is often stated in a moment of frustration. It is a statement of letting go. Sometimes you may need to let go of something, but NOT everything. You may need to let go of unrealistic expectations, of demands, of misplaced hopes. Those things can get in the way of your relationship with the cheater. You will need to deal with each other in the moment. Love and accept them for who they are now. They are still lovable, although what they did was not. The person can be forgiven, although the deed can not.
Giving into the “to hell with it” can become a self-fulfilling prophecy. With that in mind, it is best not go give into it. Recognize that those days will come, and they will pass.
Best Regards,
Jeff Murrah
(I deal with surviving your partners affair in a step by step manner in my e-book, How to Cope with a Cheating Spouse).
