Prior to the arrival of Hurricane Harvey, I spent the week bouncing between ICU and the waiting room at Clear Lake Medical Center. Dealing with an ailing family member in the hospital is filled with stress.
The constant waiting and straining for the latest updates, hoping for the best and dreading the worst. Even things like how they’re breathing, whether they’re eating and how they sleep now become important. Those routine tasks take on a new priority. They’re no longer taken for granted.
During that time, I found sitting in the waiting room quite a classroom. Around me were lessons and instructions.
One of the lessons I learned is that when a family member is hurting or in need, you make choices. In most cases, you make choices of doing ‘whatever it takes’ in caring for your loved one.
It’s not the time for revenge, grudges or paybacks. I didn’t see anyone who was relieved that their loved one was hurting or dying. There were no celebrations in the waiting room about how anyone ‘got what’s coming to them’.
When your loved one is in the hospital, you look at the world differently.
Likewise, when you’re faced with losing your spouse, you look at the world differently. The things that used to fill your daily routine suddenly don’t matter. The only thing you care about is your spouse and squeezing out some more time.
Your time priorities change. They change for spouses and families. No one was in the hospital waiting room trying to sell us vitamins, Amway, new cars or condominiums. The focus of everyone was on their spouses and loved ones.
Even though the TV was on, few people watched it for more than a few minutes. They didn’t care what was on or which news station it was. It didn’t matter who was playing, or what the score was. Their focus was on their loved ones.
The lesson was that when you’re about to lose your spouse, those other things don’t matter. Your attention becomes laser focused on your spouse.
When it’s an affair threatening your marriage, is your concern on your marriage?
When your marriage is in danger, do you have the same amount of concern?
Are you taking the ‘whatever it takes’ approach when you’re dealing with an affair?
Chances are you aren’t willing to do whatever it takes. You are only willing to do what doesn’t take you out of your comfort zone or have to cost you an amount beyond your budget.
These are tough questions, but this is a tough matter. You find out how important your marriage really is to you during such times as an affair. You find out if you’re willing to do what it takes to get a little more time with your spouse.
The waiting room at Clear Lake Medical Center is a good place to think about your marriage. It’s a good place to think about what you’re willing to do to save your marriage. Too many people get stuck on the “Whatever” part of their response rather than following through on taking initiative.
It might not be the most comfortable place, but it’s a good place to learn some important lessons.
The downloadable “Affair Recovery Workshop” guides you through what you need in recovering from an affair. You can have all the tools, techniques and direction you need in turning your marriage around. Rather than losing your spouse to the lover, you can change how things go.
Keeping It Real,
Jeff
