There are days I need encouragement. At those times, I need heartfelt, honest encouragement. At those times, the platitudes of “I’m praying for you” or “I’m thinking about you” or “God’s just going to bless you so much” just don’t cut it at those times. There is even the new age version of “I’m sending light your way.”
I’m not trying to be a sad sack in those moments. I understand how others find it painful to be around someone needing encouragement. At those times, I need something solid. I know in most cases, they end up just thinking about prayer and light.
Sure, there have been a few who broke into prayer right on the spot and shared my burden with me, but that is more the exception that the rule.
I also know I need more than an occasional prayer and assurances. I need emotion-filled life-changing, heaven-shaking, calling down fire from heaven prayers at those times.
What makes the platitudes hard to hear at such times is when they are delivered with a syrupy sweet almost condescending tone. It’s one thing when they are heartfelt, but another when they’re insincere.
Those needing encouragements literally suck the energy out of others. It’s draining just being around them. I understand that. As a counselor, I saw this routinely with needy and depressed clients.
What meant a lot to me was when someone was just there with me. I didn’t want entertaining or jokes, just someone who doesn’t run from the pain and the weariness. When someone just sat with me while I was in pain meant a great deal. At that moment, I didn’t feel alone.
I don’t need them telling me what to do or think. I just need them to hear me out. I needed someone to hear my story and my pain.
I understand how the only thing some people can think of at those moments of discouragement like those that come with an affair is platitudes such as these. I can’t fault them for not knowing what to say in those moments when you are going through affair recovery.
Some of them may even be scared that Affair germs will rub off onto them and infect their marriage. There are no face masks or goggles protecting you from affair dangers.
When dealing with the affair on a daily basis, there will be times of discouragement. There are times you want a vacation from what life is throwing at you.
One of the things that helps during those times is when someone takes a personal interest in you and what you’re going through. Just knowing you’re not alone in your struggle provides some encouragement.
You know there are some burdens you have to carry alone, yet with someone you can share what you are going through with, it makes it survivable.
It’s at times like this the Affair Recovery Workshop can help. In it you’ll find guidance, answers and direction in handling what you are going through with the affair. It is based on experiences from those who have gone through the pain.
Keeping It Real,
Jeff
