What do you do when you have to face a ministerial affair directly? Many of you have had to deal with this tough question. In dealing with these situations, there are several things to keep in mind. First, make sure that the affair is not just a rumor. Consider the source of the report, and the nature of the report.
Make sure that an affair occurred, THEN proceed. Many pastors have been ruined by rumors. In the event that it is not a rumor, action is needed. Pastors, by the nature of their vocation know the difference between right and wrong. When a minister has an affair, it is not out of ignorance. Since their action is not out of innocence, it has to be confronted swiftly. Given the seriousness of confronting minsters, it needs to be done with two or more witnesses. No one likes to be made a public spectacle, including ministers. When you confront them, do it privately first. After confronting them, allow some time for things to sink in. Expecting an immediate response or confession would be nice, but it does not always happen that way.
Although affairs are serious business, it does not automatically mean that the minister is suddenly disqualified from their calling. The action taken after the confrontation will need to be handled on a case by case basis. The nature of what occurred and severity need to be taken in consideration along with how they handled the confrontation, confession and admission of what happened. Since every affair situation is different, the action taken will vary. Although affairs and sexual abuse are often lumped in together by some of you, there are MAJOR differences. Although you need to deal with the situation quickly, you do not need to attack flies with cannon balls or use a fly swatter in fighting off elephants. Make your action appropriate for the nature of what you are dealing with.
My e-book on what the Bible says about affairs goes into greater details on signs to look for and why immediate action is needed.
Best Regards,
Jeff Murrah
