Is Swinging Adultery?

Although most of you have no hesitation in answering the question “Is swinging adultery?”, there are some readers who do not see the obvious answer. Those who are caught up or trapped into the ‘lifestyle’ of swinging often do not see how what they are doing is adultery. The swingers community has rules and structures which often blind those trapped in it from seeing the truth. The rules concern having to obtain your spouse’s permission for who you can sleep with and how far things can go. By having rules, it tricks your emotions and brain into thinking what you are doing is somehow “NOT” adultery. In many swingers minds, adultery is when you have sex without permission of your spouse. Since they always have permission, they do not view swinging as ‘adultery’.

Swingers are also selective about who they swing with. By ‘screening’ potential couples, an illusion is created of the situation being safe. It also creates the illusion that they are being ‘cared for’. Never mind that spouses are turned into merchandise and passed around like a bong at a pot party, or the chips at a superbowl party. Since one of the sposues’ is screening, everything is ‘safe’ and ‘ok’.

They do not see that the rules and structure only add to the trap that they are in. The rules help create an illusion. Since it is a shared illusion, it is powerful in terms of its ability to deceive. SO when you talk to swingers, they may share many common words with you and share your concerns with fidelity, the sanctity of marriage and a dislike of adultery. What they don’t tell you is that their definition of those terms is so twisted that they mean something totally different to them than they do to you.

The bottom line is that sleeping with anyone other than your spouse is adultery. Even though your spouse gives you permission, it is a violation of the marital bonds. Even when you call them a sex surrogate or view them as a ‘stand-in’ for your spouse, it is still adultery.

Best Regards,

Jeff Murrah