Today I want to share with you some thoughts on two vocations.
One vocation that has a dubious reputation is that of car salesmen. They are made fun of and ridiculed in movies and television shows.
Although I’ve met a few of them that fit the stereotype, most of the one’s I’ve dealt with were decent hard working people. In reflecting on my experiences with them, they were generally positive.
Granted, over the years I’ve improved my negotiating skills. I’ve learned that the times I made poor deals was due to my actions, not those of the car salesmen.
Although some are painted as charlatans, I’ve not found them to be so.
Let’s look at the second vocation of marriage counselors. Although they are portrayed as trustworthy and beneficial, there are times I think a second look is necessary.
Television shows and movies portray us as good, helpful people, which most of us are. Although most of us are genuinely concerned, there are some things you need to know and want to consider.
Did you know that in the medical field, that marriage counselors and psychiatrist share the dubious distinction of having the most divorces? Think about that for a moment.
There’s something paradoxical about the counselor that’s entrusted in helping your marriage having more divorces than other professions. You’d think that they would have their houses in order.
I was reminded of this on seeing a marriage counselor and proclaimed ‘affair expert’ promote himself with ads proclaiming the value of marriage, yet in his book, he admits he “doesn’t believe in marriage“. This leaves me confused.
Which marriage counselor is the real one? When I use his services, which one is the one who will be helping me with my marriage?
Sadly, most people don’t see the contradiction or understand the significance of it until it’s too late for their marriage. This explains the affair survey results that found over 60% of the counselors didn’t deal with the affair even though the couple went in to see them about the affair.
When your marriage is in a fragile place, you need solid answers. You need a safe place and sound counsel.
This is the reason I consider three key questions when examining marriage counselors.
You want to consider the source when you are seeking counsel. These three questions help you ‘consider the source’ and ‘test the waters’ of those you go to for help.
At the Restored Lifestyle community site I shared the three questions (plus a bonus one). You can know early on the direction the counseling will take and whether it’s a fit for your marriage. Not all marriage counselors are the same.
Keeping It Real,
Jeff
